Aug 20, 2019
I begin today’s show by reading an essay I wrote called “My
Declaration of Independence”. It fits neatly in with the theme of
this show – all around narcissistic abuse, and how to practice real
and lasting self-care around it.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve encountered a LOT of
narcissists in my life. So I was particularly interested to chat
with a woman who calls herself ‘The Little Shaman.’ Her focus is
recovering from relationships with these narcissists … and I
believe she is doing the world a great service with her work.
Take a listen and see if you can relate to any of this in your
Among other things we talked about:
- Gaslighting … what is it exactly?
- Red flags that should come up
- The Empathy Trap
- How to protect yourself from malignant narcissist abuse
- The issues around wanting to rescue narcissists
- Jealousy issues with narcissists
- How to extract yourself from these relationships and have some
Here’s the all-important list we talked about on the episode …
just LOVE THIS!
Recognizing Narcissism: 10 Point Cheat Sheet
Is this person always the victim, no matter what they've done?
2. Are other people (or "circumstances") always to blame for what
happens to this person, including their own feelings and
3. Does this person seem to think it's unfair that rules or
consequences actually apply to them?
4. Does this person seem unable to understand what consequences
even are or how they work?
5. Does every conversation with this person eventually swing back
around to how thing affect them, especially when they are
6. Does this person get offended by, or overreact to, things most
people would not be upset by?
7. Do you find yourself explaining very basic concepts to this
person, such as respect, consequences, taking responsibility for
actions, that other people have feelings, why something is rude or
8. Does this person seem to actually be looking for reasons to be
upset and often refuse to accept explanations or conciliatory
measure that would defuse the situation so that they can remain
upset? (Refuse to believe something was a joke, refuse to believe
they've misunderstood your motive or intention, accuse you of
things you've not done or said, come to extreme or ludicrous
conclusions based on an unrealistic or skewed interpretation of
9. Do you find it impossible not to offend, upset or anger this
person, no matter how careful you are, or even if you are agreeing
10. Does this person twist things you do or you say into something
negative, offensive, insulting or bad, including things that are
harmless or even supportive, complimentary or kind?
Examples of core boundaries include:
- It is not my job to fix others
- It is OK if others get angry
- It is OK to say "No."
- It is not my job to take responsibility for others
- I don't have to anticipate the needs of others
- It is my job to make myself happy
- Nobody has to agree with me
- I have a right to my own feelings
- I am enough
From Little Shaman’s website
The Little Shaman’s website
The Little Shaman Healing
MORE ABOUT LITTLE SHAMAN
The Little Shaman provides education and support for
those dealing with abusive situations, either current or past.
Virtually all abuse is narcissistic in nature.
With this understanding, you can learn how to move on and heal from
abusive situations, how to break trauma bonds, why these situations
are occurring in your life, protect yourself from future abuse and
a spiritual coach and a narcissism specialist. She has a popular
YouTube show and clients worldwide. Working on opening a Holistic
Healing Center & Spirit Clinic in the Deep South area. She
believes in natural living, natural healing and natural